It's a lot of work to put a brand-new monologue and a brand-new show on the air and find comedy every single day. It's challenging and it's the hardest thing I have ever done, but it's the best-suited thing for me. The more relaxed I get and the more confident I feel, the more I get to play and be myself...

I've learned 2 things about tv. It's always easier with vodka & SOME OF THE BEST SINGERS ARE FROM THE PHILIPPINES

You're never too old to play. You're only too old for low-rise jeans.

All we have is here and now. That's why procrastination feels so right. Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution.

When I look back on the stuff I used to wear, I wonder why somebody didn't try to stop me. Just a friendly warning, "You may regret this," would have been fine.

Who needs sleep? I laugh in the face of sleep!

I get paid very well for an amazing, amazing life. I'm blessed.