Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.

I care passionately about equal rights [and] animal rights.

I'm sure men have their own ways of trying to demean one another, but women can be very gossipy and judgmental, and that doesn't help.

If we lose our phones, we lose our phone books. You don't memorize numbers anymore.

I watch people's behavior and notice things. I think that's why I became a comedian. I notice how stupid the things we do are.

I have the picture of Barack [Obama] and me dancing right outside of my dressing room door, I see it every single day, and it makes me very happy.

Quick decision makers are often stuck behind annoying people in line at Starbucks.