You can always tell when the relationship is over. Little things start getting on your nerves, 'Would you please stop that! That breathing in and out, it's so repetitious.'

Something big happened over the weekend. Something that affects everybody, all over the world. George Clooney got married.

I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.

Have you ever thought about toothpaste? Ellen has! And she makes a point about all of the types of toothpaste that Colgate offers!

Come on, if you don't win tonight it doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you're not a good actor.

The song 'If I Had a Hammer' is geared toward people who don't have a hammer. Maybe before I had a hammer I thought I'd hammer in the morning and hammer in the evening. But once you get a hammer, you find you don't really hammer as much as you thought you would.

Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost.