They call me Good Time Emo. Because I love a good time! And my name is Emo.

People always ask me, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi.

Don't wear fur! Did you know, a single fur coat takes fifteen trees, just for the protest signs?

If an asteroid is coming toward you, you don't have to blow it up. You just have to slow it down long enough for our country to rotate out of the way.

One man's pet-stained carpet is another man's Twister game.

I love England. In fact, they're getting to know me so well at Heathrow Immigration that this time I was able to completely bypass the six months rabies quarantine.

I'm a great lover, I'll bet.