My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.
For some reason, religious jokes seem as trivial as jokes about food or driving.
I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks.
I don't know how electricity works. All I know is that it calms me.
I'll do anything for my wife, it's turning out.
My dad and I, we used to play baseball. I was the catcher. Which I liked. Until one day, I saw this game on TV, and I said, Hang on, how come their catcher doesn't have his hands tied to his ankles?