I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.
I tried body surfing once, but how often do you find a corpse?
The only work I ever turned down was a cable programme called Diving for Excrement.
I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.
A friend of mine gave me a Philip Glass record. I listened to it for five hours before I realized it had a scratch on it.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.