People come up to me... concerned... that I'll reproduce.

I don't know how electricity works. All I know is that it calms me.

I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.

When deciding between two competing theories, always go with the one that doesn't involve a magic spell.

Some comedians change their style, often to their advantage; but I see no reason why I can't continue with the "urbane sophisticate" 'til the day I die.

I went into the gas station, said, Fill 'er up, Harry. The guy said, Regular? I said, No, put on a gorrila suit and dance like a fairy.

Recently, I've ventured into the mammal family - so that's good for my sex life.