Orion brightened. "I have an idea." "Yes?" said Foaly, daring to hope that a spark of Artemis remained. "Why don't we look for some magic stones that can grant wishes? Or, if that doesn't work, you could search my naked body for some mysterious birthmark that means I am actually the prince of somewhere or other.

Control puberty?" snorted the bodyguard."If you manage that, you'll be the first.

I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!!

You guys looking for my dad? People are always, like, looking for him, and he's never around. Daddy is so not here. And I mean that literally and spiritually.

...to be injured on this tundra would lead to a quick and painful death—or at the very least abject humiliation before the popping flashes of the tourist season's tail end, which was slightly less painful than a painful death, but lasted longer.

Why can't we for once have a meeting in Starbucks?

(about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl)