With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom.

A child needs your love most when he deserves it least

Grandma told me Mama was once caught by the Principal for writing in the front of her book, "In Case of Fire, Throw This in First." I have never had so much respect for Mama as the day I heard this.

No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.

Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.

It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.