With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom.

The more I think about it, the more there is to be said for the sloth. He sleeps fifteen to eighteen hours a day and is known to have taken forty-eight days to travel four miles. He hangs in the trees after he's dead. But he lives longer than the cheetah.

Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

I'm so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat.

Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.