Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.

Explain to me how he [her son] can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, set up a camp, swing, fight a war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage can.

Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!

Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.

As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am.