The bad times I can handle. It's the good times that drive me crazy. When is the other shoe going going to drop?

To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

Myths that need clarification: "No matter how many times you see the Grand canyon, you are still emotionally moved to tears." False. It depends on how many children the out-of-towners brought with them who kicked the back of your seat from Phoenix to Flagstaff and got their gum caught in your hair.

. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it - and never give it back.

I have always felt cookbooks were fiction and the most beautiful words in the English language were 'room service.

The fact was I didn't want to look my age, but I didn't want to act the age I wanted to look either. I also wanted to grow old enough to understand that sentence.