Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.

The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar.

If compliments were food, I'd have starved to death 28 years ago.

The bad times I can handle. It's the good times that drive me crazy. When is the other shoe going going to drop?

I have just come up with a wonderful solution to end all wars. Let me give directions on how to get there.

I hated skiing or any other sport where there was an ambulance waiting at the bottom of the hill.

The term 'working mother' is redundant.