What does it profit a 78-year-old woman to sit around the pool in a bikini if she cannot feed herself?

Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.

It's frightening to wake up one morning and discover that while you were asleep you went out of style.

Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.

I used everything you gave me.

If anyone knew where they were, I'd send the ISDBB (Incredibly Stupid and Dumb Beyond Belief) award to the two guys who tried to break in to the Ohio penitentiary.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.