I've decided life is too fragile to finish a book I dislike just because it cost $16.95 and everyone else loved it. Or eat a fried egg with a broken yolk (which I hate) when the dog would leap over the St. Louis Arch for it.

There was a time when the respect and trust my children had for me would have made you sick to your stomach. They believed I could blow on a red traffic light and turn it green.

My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job.

Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.

How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?

No baby shall at any time be quartered in a house where there are no soft laps, no laughter, or no love.

Bombeck's Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.