In the South Pacific, because of their size, mosquitoes are required to file flight plans.

There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.

The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.

When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.

I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of "go out and fulfill your dreams" and "be everything you were meant to be." But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren.

Phrases and their actual meanings: My teacher has never liked me. Expect a phone call before lunch from the teacher informing you that your child has been launching hot dogs by compressing them inside a small Thermos and then removing the lid quickly.

Crocodiles have a smile I've seen on the face of every lawyer I've ever met.