In the South Pacific, because of their size, mosquitoes are required to file flight plans.

Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.

Myths that need clarification: "Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach." False. The only people who live on California beaches are vacationers from Arizona, Utah, and Nevada who own condos.

Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity. To women, it's on the same domestic entry level as putting the spring back into the toilet-tissue holder or taking a chicken out of the freezer to thaw.

I see children as kites. You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground. You run with them until you're both breathless. They crash . . . you add a longer tail . . . you patch and comfort, adjust and teach. You watch them lifted by the wind and assure them that someday they'll fly.

What makes people laugh? . . . It's a happy marriage between a person who needs to laugh and someone who's got one to give.

I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment.