The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?"

It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today.

People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.

I'm so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat.

I remember thinking how often we look, but never see ... we listen, but never hear ... we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'

Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick.