Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.

Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" Wasn't there any change?

With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom.

Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.

My sister and I never engaged in sibling rivalry. Our parents weren't that crazy about either one of us.