Occasionally, once a speaker is on his feet, it is difficult to get him to sit down. ... If and when he returns to earth, he notices half of the room is paging the other half and a few are playing with the melted candles.
Erma BombeckOne thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
Erma BombeckOnce you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
Erma BombeckJust think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?!
Erma Bombeck