We even switched to a newly-formed church across the town that gave one hundred and twenty trading stamps each time we attended. (We now worship a brown and white chicken with a sunburst on its chest.)

In the South Pacific, because of their size, mosquitoes are required to file flight plans.

What does it profit a 78-year-old woman to sit around the pool in a bikini if she cannot feed herself?

Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.

The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

The fact was I didn't want to look my age, but I didn't want to act the age I wanted to look either. I also wanted to grow old enough to understand that sentence.