I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

A small waist makes you tire easily.

The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight.

I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.

When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.