I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.

People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.

The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?

One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.

I have always felt cookbooks were fiction and the most beautiful words in the English language were 'room service.