There would have been more 'I love you's' and more, 'I'm sorry's'.

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.

There was a time when the respect and trust my children had for me would have made you sick to your stomach. They believed I could blow on a red traffic light and turn it green.

Kids have little computer bodies with disks that store information. They remember who had to do the dishes the last time you had spaghetti, who lost the knob off the TV set six years ago, who got punished for teasing the dog when he wasn't teasing the dog and who had to wear girls boots the last time it snowed.

Pregnancy is the only time in a woman's life she can help God work a miracle.

Never have more children than you have car windows.

If God had meant us to walk around naked, he would never have invented the wicker chair.