In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.

Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.

My mother won't admit it, but I've always been a disappointment to her. Deep down inside, she'll never forgive herself for giving birth to a daughter who refuses to launder aluminium foil and use it over again.

Most children's first words are 'Mama' or 'Daddy.' Mine were, 'Do I have to use my own money?'

. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it - and never give it back.

I will never understand children. I never pretended to. I meet mothers all the time who make resolutions to themselves. 'I'm going to ... go out of my way to show them I am interested in them and what they do. I am going to understand my children.' These women end up making rag rugs, using blunt scissors.