Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
Erma BombeckMen who have a thirty-six-tele vised-football- games-a- week-habit should be declared legally dead and their estates probated.
Erma BombeckA friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Erma BombeckThere's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.
Erma BombeckMyths that need clarification: "No matter how many times you see the Grand canyon, you are still emotionally moved to tears." False. It depends on how many children the out-of-towners brought with them who kicked the back of your seat from Phoenix to Flagstaff and got their gum caught in your hair.
Erma Bombeck