Occasionally, once a speaker is on his feet, it is difficult to get him to sit down. ... If and when he returns to earth, he notices half of the room is paging the other half and a few are playing with the melted candles.

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

If God had meant us to walk around naked, he would never have invented the wicker chair.

No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.

I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.

Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?

It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.