Never have more children than you have car windows.

Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" Wasn't there any change?

A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. "What shall we name the other one?" I smiled. She was not amused.

A small waist makes you tire easily.

The fact was I didn't want to look my age, but I didn't want to act the age I wanted to look either. I also wanted to grow old enough to understand that sentence.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.