Grandma told me Mama was once caught by the Principal for writing in the front of her book, "In Case of Fire, Throw This in First." I have never had so much respect for Mama as the day I heard this.

The more I think about it, the more there is to be said for the sloth. He sleeps fifteen to eighteen hours a day and is known to have taken forty-eight days to travel four miles. He hangs in the trees after he's dead. But he lives longer than the cheetah.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

There is only one thing harder in this world than forgiving. It's to ask forgiveness armed only with, 'I'm sorry'.

In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.

Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.