Grandma told me Mama was once caught by the Principal for writing in the front of her book, "In Case of Fire, Throw This in First." I have never had so much respect for Mama as the day I heard this.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

What does it profit a 78-year-old woman to sit around the pool in a bikini if she cannot feed herself?

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.

When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.

If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.