I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You're on your own, Bernice.
If compliments were food, I'd have starved to death 28 years ago.