A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!

Never have more children than you have car windows.

For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.

Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.

The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.

Adults are always telling young people, 'These are the best years of your life.' Are they? I don't know. Sometimes when adults say this to children I look into their faces. They look like someone on the top seat of the Ferris wheel who has had too much cotton candy and barbecue. They'd like to get off and be sick but everyone keeps telling them what a good time they're having.