Motherhood is the second oldest profession in the world. It never questions age, height, religious preference, health, political affiliation, citizenship, morality, ethnic background, marital status, economic level, convenience, or previous experience.

I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.

Most children's first words are 'Mama' or 'Daddy.' Mine were, 'Do I have to use my own money?'

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?