A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.

I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.

No baby shall at any time be quartered in a house where there are no soft laps, no laughter, or no love.

Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.

I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up.

A child develops individuality long before he develops taste.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest.