I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It's just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.

. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it - and never give it back.

What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?

The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?"

Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?!

The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.

The term 'working mother' is redundant.