Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn't show themselves to us again until it was time to get married.

Children make your life important.

Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.

The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?"

It's frightening to wake up one morning and discover that while you were asleep you went out of style.

Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.

Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable.