I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
Erma BombeckI don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.
Erma BombeckMotherhood isn't just a series of contractions; it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being.
Erma BombeckA grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
Erma BombeckKids are without a doubt the most suspicious diners in the world. They will eat mud (raw or baked) rocks, paste, crayons, ball-point pens, moving goldfish, cigarette butts, and cat food. Try to coax a little beef stew into their mouths and they look at you like a puppy when you stand over him with the Sunday paper rolled up.
Erma Bombeck