The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.

Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.

I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but you try to understand them and you're in big trouble.

You become about as exciting as your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the eye, and ask if anybody's home.

When you're an orthodox worrier, some days are worse than others.

A small waist makes you tire easily.