A child develops individuality long before he develops taste.

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

I convinced him his luggage had gone to that big Bermuda Triangle in the sky.

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

I became hysterical and frightened and begged for sedation. And that was just the first prenatal visit.

I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.

Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.