Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.

Any mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy's little boy becomes Mommy's little boy, the kid is so wet he's treading water.

No One Diets on Thanksgiving.

Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of them two hours later at fifty cents each.

My son did not show signs of a money deficiency until he opened his small fist in the nursery and found it was empty.

As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'