Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We watch people make love on television and in films. We call 900 numbers to hear what someone would do to us if they weren't sitting in a boiler room of other dirty talkers reading from a prepared script.

People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.

I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.

Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.

When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.

If I had my life to live over I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.