He opened the jar of pickles when no one else could. He was the only one in the house who wasn't afraid to go into the basement by himself. He cut himself shaving, but no one kissed it or got excited about it. It was understood when it rained, he got the car and brought it around to the door. When anyone was sick, he went out to get the prescription filled. He took lots of pictures... but he was never in them.

I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.

The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight.

The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?"

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.

Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.