When it comes to cooking, five years ago I felt guilty "just adding water." Now I want to bang the tube against the countertop and have a five-course meal pop out. If it comes with plastic silverware and a plate that self-destructs, all the better.

Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, 'A house guest,' you're wrong because I have just described my kids.

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.

Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.

There was a time when the respect and trust my children had for me would have made you sick to your stomach. They believed I could blow on a red traffic light and turn it green.

I used everything you gave me.

What does it profit a 78-year-old woman to sit around the pool in a bikini if she cannot feed herself?