When it comes to cooking, five years ago I felt guilty "just adding water." Now I want to bang the tube against the countertop and have a five-course meal pop out. If it comes with plastic silverware and a plate that self-destructs, all the better.

We've got a generation now who were born with semiequality. They don't know how it was before, so they think, this isn't too bad. We're working. We have our attache' cases and our three piece suits. I get very disgusted with the younger generation of women. We had a torch to pass, and they are just sitting there. They don't realize it can be taken away. Things are going to have to get worse before they join in fighting the battle.

Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.

My idea of 'roughing it' is when you have to have an extension for your electric blanket.

Pregnancy is the only time in a woman's life she can help God work a miracle.

Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.

If I had my life to live over I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.