I have finally mastered what to do with the second tennis ball. Having small hands, I was becoming terribly self-conscious about keeping it in a can in the car while I served the first one. I noted some women tucked the second ball just inside the elastic leg of their tennis panties. I tried, but found the space already occupied by a leg. Now, I simply drop the second ball down my cleavage, giving me a chest that often stuns my opponent throughout an entire set.

I'm on a diet as my skin doesn't fit me anymore.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.

A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.

What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?