Pregnancy is the only time in a woman's life she can help God work a miracle.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted.
As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am.
With girls, everything looks great on the surface. But beware of drawers that won't open. They contain a three-month supply of dirty underwear, unwashed hose, and rubber bands with blobs of hair in them.