With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.

Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, 'A house guest,' you're wrong because I have just described my kids.

Housework can kill you if done right.

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.

Authorities say brain cells may shrink, but they don't necessarily die. Frankly, I am cheered by the fact that something is shrinking. I'd be even more thrilled if what was shrinking affected my dress size, but you can't have everything.

not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.

If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.