When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.

He who laughs.....lasts.

The grass is always greener over the septic tank.

I learned the importance of a man's chair early in life. I learned that he may love several wives, embrace several cars, be true to more than one political philosophy, and be equally committed to several careers, but he will have only one comfortable chair in his life. I learned it will be an ugly chair. It will match nothing in the entire house. It will never wear out.

Every puppy should have a boy.

Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.

Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.