When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.

I have just come up with a wonderful solution to end all wars. Let me give directions on how to get there.

I never go to a college reunion that I don't come away feeling sorry for all those paunchy, balding jocks trying to hang onto youth. I feel sorry for the men, too.

I've always been intrigued with the variety of answers this generation will give their children who ask, "Where did I come from, Mommy?" They will range from "Number 176 vial in Buffalo, New York," to "You were defrosted."

Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.

If God had meant us to walk around naked, he would never have invented the wicker chair.

Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.