Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.

Myths that need clarification: "No matter how many times you see the Grand canyon, you are still emotionally moved to tears." False. It depends on how many children the out-of-towners brought with them who kicked the back of your seat from Phoenix to Flagstaff and got their gum caught in your hair.

If compliments were food, I'd have starved to death 28 years ago.

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it's still snowing.

not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.

Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.