People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.

Last year I gave seventy-four phone hours to soliciting baked goods for the Bake-A-Rama. I was named Top Call Girl by the League.

As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?