People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.

Enter my first neighbor - a woman who spoke in complete, coherent sentences, who ate with a knife and fork and who only cried at weddings. I couldn't help myself. In a dramatic gesture, I bolted the door and threw my body across it to prevent her exit. She understood.

Limousines used to be reserved for the ruling class, or, on special occasions, for the working class. Today, limousines are like taxicabs with the door handles still intact.

Not everyone is comfortable with the kissing ritual. My husband is one of them. Her refuses to press lips with anyone except his wife, mother, and dog. If someone wanted to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, he would refuse until he had been formally introduced.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?

I'm on a diet as my skin doesn't fit me anymore.