The more I think about it, the more there is to be said for the sloth. He sleeps fifteen to eighteen hours a day and is known to have taken forty-eight days to travel four miles. He hangs in the trees after he's dead. But he lives longer than the cheetah.

Explain to me how he [her son] can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, set up a camp, swing, fight a war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage can.

When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it's still snowing.

Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.

Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted.