Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.

The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?

Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it, excited the dog, or inflated upon impact with my teeth.

Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?

I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.

It's frightening to wake up one morning and discover that while you were asleep you went out of style.

Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna.