On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

The fact was I didn't want to look my age, but I didn't want to act the age I wanted to look either. I also wanted to grow old enough to understand that sentence.

There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.

It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.

The bad times I can handle. It's the good times that drive me crazy. When is the other shoe going going to drop?

Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.