My son would walk to the refrigerator-freezer and fling both doors open and stand there until the hairs in his nose iced up. After surveying $200 worth of food in varying shapes and forms, he would declare loudly, 'There's nothing to eat!'

I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of "go out and fulfill your dreams" and "be everything you were meant to be." But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren.

My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job.

The term 'working mother' is redundant.

not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.

A child needs your love most when he deserves it least

Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.