If I had my life to live over again, I would have waxed less and listened more. ... I would have cried and laughed less while watching television ... and more while watching real life. ... But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute of it ... look at it and really see it ... try it on ... live it ... exhaust it ... and never give the minute back until there was nothing left of it.

Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.

A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.

Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.

When you look like your passport photo, it's time to go home.

I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment.

Every puppy should have a boy.