Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.

No baby shall at any time be quartered in a house where there are no soft laps, no laughter, or no love.

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, 'A house guest,' you're wrong because I have just described my kids.

I didn't fear old age. I was just becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the only people who said old age was beautiful were usually twenty-three years old.

When you're an orthodox worrier, some days are worse than others.