God created man, but I could do better.

I've decided life is too fragile to finish a book I dislike just because it cost $16.95 and everyone else loved it. Or eat a fried egg with a broken yolk (which I hate) when the dog would leap over the St. Louis Arch for it.

Mothers are not the nameless, faceless stereotypes who appear once a year on a greeting card with their virtues set to prose, but women who have been dealt a hand for life and play each card one at a time the best way they know how. No mother is all good or all bad, all laughing or all serious, all loving or all angry. Ambivalence rushes through their veins.

I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.

Most children's first words are 'Mama' or 'Daddy.' Mine were, 'Do I have to use my own money?'

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.