If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney.

I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.

Cats invented self-esteem; there is not an insecure bone in their body.

When you look like your passport photo, it's time to go home.

What does it profit a 78-year-old woman to sit around the pool in a bikini if she cannot feed herself?

There was a time when the respect and trust my children had for me would have made you sick to your stomach. They believed I could blow on a red traffic light and turn it green.

Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.