If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney.

Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!

Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity. To women, it's on the same domestic entry level as putting the spring back into the toilet-tissue holder or taking a chicken out of the freezer to thaw.

When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.

Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus.

Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.

House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.