One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.

How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?

You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.

Not everyone is comfortable with the kissing ritual. My husband is one of them. Her refuses to press lips with anyone except his wife, mother, and dog. If someone wanted to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, he would refuse until he had been formally introduced.

Never have more children than you have car windows.

To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.